Whenever someone doesn’t act as per our expectation, we tend to slip to one of the greatest trap of human nature – yes, judgment.
We tend to judge the person on the basis of his/her actions.
As per my experience, judgment is more of a mental habit than a bitter outlook of ourselves on others.
We learned to judge whenever something didn’t go according to plan.
And we kept on doing it over and over and over.
Naturally, judgment gradually has become our second nature.
But if habit is being built, it can be rebuilt as well in a different way.
Here’s what I do and I urge you to try.
Whenever I see someone veering off from my expectation, I murmur –
They are doing exactly what they know at this given moment and for their highest good. They are not doing anything to me, but for their own sake. And thus, I won’t allow myself to think negative at all about them, rather I will choose to love them for who they are, without judgment.
The chief aim of this conversation with myself is to make myself aware that it is okay for others to do whatever they choose to do, at any given moment. I don’t need to tell them what they should be doing because I myself don’t like to be treated like that.
But this rewiring our mental habit will take time.
Follow this steps for ease of use.
1. Be aware that there is a dissonance between what you expect and what is happening
2. Tell yourself that it is okay for others to be themselves
3. Decide not to judge them, rather love and accept them as they are because whatever they are doing right now, right here is according to the best of their knowledge.
And gradually, I and you will learn not to judge and love everyone anyway!