If you are in any relationship, here are two tests for you. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is. It may be between you and your spouse/you and your children/you and your friend/you and your pet/any kind of relationship you can think of.
I have tested both of them and they are liberating.
Here are they –
1. No matter who that person is, go to that person and say that – I love you, but I am not attached to you at all.
[Explanation – Love is not a synonym of attachment. Attachment simply means that your happiness depends on how the other person with whom you are in a relationship reacts in any given moment. If you feel that you are not attached to the person but love him/her so much, examine your mental peace when you both are disagreeing on something. If you are immobilized by the other person’s reactions, you are attached to that person which is not very good for your mental peace. Try detachment instead. Love that person enormously, but don’t get absorbed in how s/he reacts to any given situation :)]
Now the next one.
2. I think this is tougher than the previous one. Again, go to the person you are in a relationship with and say to him/her – I will let you be who you are. You are free to think your thoughts, take your actions, make your decisions, and be the person you want to be. I trust you and I will not come in between you and what you want to be at all in our relationship.
[Explanation – Love is letting the person feel freer than before. If you love that person (in any way), your responsibility is to trust his/her nature and let him/her follow his/her inner-compass. If you try to dictate the other person about what you want him/her to do, it is not at all love, it is an agreement. Examine your relationship with the person and ponder.]
I know I am sounding weird.
How can it be possible to be detached from your loved ones and to let your near ones decide their own paths?
But try both of them and then see how your relationship will unfold. I will not recommend that you do it for any benefit though, rather you should do it for love, because you love that person more than anything else.
I will step back now 🙂